Today was... an interesting day to say the least. I went to church this morning, and we had a really cool speaker. He spoke about the differences between men and women. And, as surprised as I am to say this, I understand women slightly more now than I did before. I guess some things make sense now. I actually learned a lot about myself from him too. It's quite amazing how much a complete stranger can teach you about yourself. I'm quite glad I went this morning, even though I was basically forced to. My sister danced in the service so my mom made me get up and go with them.
When I got home, I looked around the house for some food and I came to a very shocking realization: I actually really like the food at school. Nothing in the closet or fridge looked good to me, not even mac and cheese or pizza! Now that is really saying something.
So I planned on leaving around 1:00 but I had to go get gas, and refill my transmission fluid, and my mom had to put money in my book account so I can buy my Precalculus book. After all that, it was 3:00 before I left to come back to school. When I got here, I planned on getting some food, but the dinning hall was closed and I didn't feel like walking to another hall to get some dinner. So I ate some of the ramen noodles I have in my room, for just such an occasion.
There is strange peace to this place when you are alone. I always feel kind of separated from the rest of the world, and it has bothered me a lot lately. But when I was sitting in my dorm alone, just listening to everything happen outside, it was very peaceful. I could hear the birds, the rustling of the leaves in the wind, distant cars passing by. I just felt at peace with myself, and where I was in the world. At home I always feel tension in the air. There is always something there that is eating away at me, whether it is my parents being too critical or saying things that piss me off or people acting in ways that make me question their motives. There is always something. But here, just sitting here, all tensions lifted and I was able to smile for no reason at all. I might actually stay down here one or two weekends out of the month. This means, or course, having to learn how to do laundry, but that is no big deal. I could see myself laying on a grassy hill, or patch of grass for a couple hours here. Just listening to people pass by, the sounds of nature, everything. It will give me much needed time away from everything. All of the drama I'm constantly surrounded by, or right smack dab in the middle of for that matter, all of the problems of every day life. Getting lost in your own mind is a nice way to let your problems slip right out from under you, and the best part is: you don't even know that it's happening.
The VMA's happened tonight, I started watching that at 9. The show was kind of disappointing this year compared to last year. The acts weren't as good, and the award winners didn't really deserve to win. Eminem was amazing this year, and in tandem so was Rihanna. Taylor Swift also did a fabulous job. But other than that, the performances were... similar. I didn't feel like I was seeing anything new. I did, however, absolutely despise kanye west's performance, if you could call it that. I don't even respect the man enough to consider his name to be a proper noun in that last sentence.
I then put in Star Trek The Next Generation, and watched the second episode of that tonight. I am trying to pace myself with this season. I usually watched as many episodes as I could in a day back when I was watching seasons 1 and 2. I kind of want to draw out this season, and make it last a bit longer than usual. That way I don't go back to season 1 and watch all 3 seasons again and again and look like a complete nerd. Some could say that I already am one since I am watching Star Trek in the first place. But those people can go fuck off, and reminisce in their many insecurities.
So today was an overall interesting day.
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