semester break

i severely need break to happen
im way too stressed out and i really shouldnt be at all!

Stuck in my head all day...

I don't understand, I don't feel that I deserve this. What did I do wrong? I just don't understand.

Eternal Life I Would Trade For One Moment Beside You

Endless struggle to find the reasoning. Is it too much to give, for just one moment?

These Thoughts Act As Poison to the Soul

These thoughts are like poison.
Why do I put myself through this?
All I have to do is, not think so much about things.
That is so much easier said than done.
Every movement, every word someone says, I ask myself "Why did they do that? Why did they say that? Why are they acting like that?"
It all needs to stop!
It's too much!

I Vlog now

I vlog now. It is in no way consistent, but it is a lot more fun than typing.
LINK TIME!
YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!!

Needs Of The Few

Bryan and I came to the consensus that we both need girlfriends. That is all.

Can I Get Some Chapstick?

Today in class, Professor Burns definitely had one of his better days. That being said, I am going to start out with Things Professor Burns Says.

Things Professor Burns Says:

1- "I'm feeling unusually happy today, I think I'm going to give you all 10 free points on the semester exam. *cheers from the class* Just keep in mind, the exam is worth 20,000 points"

2- "The administration won't allow me to do the demonstration, so I have to show you the video instead. You'll see that it involves a long glass tube with tiny holes in it, connected to a speaker and a tank of propane gas. So absolutely nothing can go wrong there."

3- "*After his demonstration tool fails, he has to use both his hands to hold a string and strum the string with his mouth* See, you can play the guitar with your mouth.... does anyone have any chapstick?"

4- Student: "I don't mean to be 'That Guy' but isn't that supposed to be a capital 'f'?" Prof. Burns: "Yes it is, I guess I'm still concentrating on my chapped lips. Thank you that guy."

The video, is the second time he played the little demo thing with his mouth, so it isn't very long. But you still get the picture!

I know EVERYTHING!

Today in Astronomy I just kind of sat there. I listened to the lecture, and I absorbed information for the hell of it. I knew everything that was being taught, other than a couple of technical terms. But other than that, everything was review. We use multiple choice remotes to answer questions, so the professor knows that we are understanding the material, and I answered every question correctly. After class she asked to see me, I think because she noticed that I was pretty much the only one not taking notes. So I met with her and she asked "Do you just not care about this class, or is this all review for you?".  I told her that it was all review, and we got into classes that I probably should have taken other than this one that would be more my level as of right now. But it's too late to switch into a higher level course, so I am stuck in this one. She started telling me about a lot of things online, and some programs I could download that I would find interesting, and the first thing she suggested was NASAs Astronomy Picture of the Day. Low and behold, that website is the first bookmark I added when I got my computer. She also suggested installing the program that came with the textbook on my computer, and when I told her that I already did that, and had another one that I downloaded at the beginning of the summer, she was quite impressed. So I think this class is going to be quite easy for me. She told me that she expects an "A" on every test and exam, and I reassured her that that was definitely going to happen.
So my day started off wonderfully! I'm happy :)
And I feel slightly smarter than I did an hour and a half ago!

Stuff Professor Burns says:
1-"Who votes seconds? *people raise their hands* Who votes milliseconds? *people raise their hands* Who votes we leave right now and go get some lunch? *people raise their hands* Dang two more votes and we could have got lunch! Oh well, you all know for next time"
2-Student "Do we have to write 'time' along with 'milliseconds'?" Prof B. "Well, to let ya in on a little secret, I know that milliseconds is time"

Life Imitates Other Life

Well, I don't want to be left out of the picture tonight. Since everybody else is going to write freaking long blogs, then I will too.


An ancient Ring thought lost for centuries has been found, and through a strange twist in fate has been given to a small Hobbit named Frodo. When Gandalf discovers the Ring is in fact the One Ring of the Dark Lord Sauron, Frodo must make an epic quest to the Cracks of Doom in order to destroy it! However he does not go alone. He is joined by Gandalf, Legolas the elf, Gimli the Dwarf, Aragorn, Boromir and his three Hobbit friends Merry, Pippin and Samwise. Through mountains, snow, darkness, forests, rivers and plains, facing evil and danger at every corner the Fellowship of the Ring must go. Their quest to destroy the One Ring is the only hope for the end of the Dark Lords reign!

The power of Bilbo Baggins's ring of invisibility may have been underestimated, Gandalf the Grey fears its power even with his unfathomable magical abilities. As the power of the one ring grows, so too do the armies of Sauron and Sarumon as their evil spreads across the lands of man, dwarf and elf alike. It is up to a ragtag band of heroes to carry the ring to Mount Doom, the evil place of its birth, and cast it into the eternal fires that forged it. Does the fellowship have what it takes to complete its task, or will the powers of evil overcome those of good leaving behind a world ravaged by the rage of Sauron, the Dark Lord? 

In ancient times the Rings of Power were crafted by the Elven-smiths, and Sauron, the Dark Lord, forged the One Ring, filling it with his own power so that he could rule all others. But the One Ring was taken from him, and though he sought it throughout Middle-Earth still it remained lost to him. After many ages it fell, by chance, into the hands of the Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. On his eleventy-first birthday, Bilbo disappeared, bequeathing to his young nephew, Frodo, the Ruling Ring, and a perilous quest: to journey across Middle-Earth, deep into the shadow of the Dark Lord and destroy the Ring by casting it into the Cracks of Doom. 

In ancient times, the Elven-smiths created the Rings of Power. Then the Dark Lord Sauron created a Ring to rule the Lesser Rings. But the Ring was stolen, and for a long time, he thought it to be lost. But many years later, the Ring came to the hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. In a land called the Shire, Frodo inherits the Ring from his uncle, Bilbo. Now Frodo must take a journey across Middle-earth, and throw the Ring into the volcano, Mt. Doom, the only place it can be destroyed. 

In the lands of Middle Earth, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a Ring of Power to control all the peoples and creatures of Middle Earth. The Ring was taken from him and fell into the hands of Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit from The Shire - a place of complete innocence. The Ring was then passed onto young Hobbit Frodo Baggins, with one task set before him - to destroy the Ring of Power. Frodo begins his perilous journey through the lands with a Fellowship that will protect him on his mission. Their mission; to destroy the Ring of Power in the only place it can be destroyed - the fires of Mount Doom.

Sauron's forces increase. His allies grow. The Ringwraiths return in an even more frightening form. Saruman's army of Uruk Hai is ready to launch an assault against Aragorn and the people of Rohan. Yet, the Fellowship is broken and Boromir is dead. For the little hope that is left, Frodo and Sam march on into Mordor, unprotected. A number of new allies join with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Pippin and Merry. And they must defend Rohan and attack Isengard. Yet, while all this is going on, Sauron's troops mass toward the City of Gondor, for the War of the Ring is about to begin.

The Fellowship has been broken. Boromir is dead, Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee have gone to Mordor alone to destroy the One Ring, Merry and Pippin have been captured by the Uruk-hai, and Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli have made friends of the Rohan, a race of humans that are in the path of the upcoming war, led by its aging king, Théoden. The two towers between Mordor and Isengard, Barad-dúr and Orthanc, have united in their lust for destruction. The corrupt wizard Saruman, under the power of the Dark Lord Sauron, and his slimy assistant, Gríma Wormtongue, have created a grand Uruk-hai army bent on the destruction of Man and Middle-earth. The rebellion against Sauron is building up and will be led by Gandalf the White, who was thought to be dead after the Balrog captured him. One of the Ring's original bearers, the creature Gollum, has tracked Frodo and Sam down in search of his 'precious', but is captured by the Hobbits and used as a way to lead them to Mt. Doom. The War of the Ring has now begun...

Frodo and Sam take Gollum prisoner and continue on to Mordor on the mission to destroy The One Ring. Whilst their former companions Strider, Legolas, Gimli, Merry and Pippin make new allies in the Ents, The Riders of Rohan and the Stewards of Gondor and launch an assault on Isengard. All the while a growing Shadow falls upon Middle-earth as the Dark Lord's Army marches on to Gondor. The War of the Ring has begun. 

After the fellowship has broken, Merry and Pippin, taken by orcs, make new allies in the Ents, while Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn make allies in the people of Rohan, and all of them must launch an assault on Isengard. Meanwhile, Frodo and Sam force Gollum to guide them through Mordor, trusting him with their lives. 

While Frodo & Sam continue to approach Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring, unaware of the path Gollum is leading them, the former Fellowship aid Rohan & Gondor in a great battle in the Pelennor Fields, Minas Tirith and the Black Gates as Sauron wages his last war against Middle-Earth.

Gondor is overrun by the orcs of Mordor, and Gandalf rides to Minas Tirith to aid the humans in the war that is ahead. Aragorn must realize his true identity and purpose as the King of Men, and journey with Gimli and Legolas to summon the Army of the Dead so that the battle against evil can be won. Meanwhile, paranoia and suspicion rises between Frodo, Sam and Gollum as they continue their increasingly dark and dangerous travel to Mount Doom, the one place where The Ring can be destroyed once and for all.

The Fellowship divides to conquer as Frodo and Sam, with the help and hindrance of Gollum, continue their way to Mount Doom. Gandalf and Pippin ride to Minas Tirith to help defend Gondor while Merry remains with Eowyn and the other Rohan fighters. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli seek aid from those that live in the Cursed Mountains. All these battles have one goal in mind: distract the Eye of Sauron and buy Frodo a little more time to destroy the ring. 

The War of the Ring reaches its climax as the dark lord Sauron sets his sights on Minas Tirith, the capital of Gondor. The members of the fellowship in Rohan are warned of the impending attack when Pippin cannot resist looking into Saruman's palantir and is briefly contacted by the dark lord. King Theoden is too proud to send his men to help without being asked, so Gandalf and Pippin ride to Minas Tirith to see that this request is sent. They meet opposition there from Denethor, steward of the city and father of Faramir and the late Boromir. Denethor's family has acted as temporary guardians of Gondor for centuries until a member of the true line of kings returns. This member is none other than Aragorn, who must overcome his own self-doubt before he can take on the role he was destined to fulfill. Meanwhile, Frodo and Sam continue to carry the One Ring towards Mordor, guided by Gollum. What they don't know is that Gollum is leading them into a trap so that he can reclaim the Ring for himself. Though Sam suspects his deceit, Frodo is starting to be corrupted by the Ring's power and the mistrust of Sam this causes is fully exploited by Gollum. The only way good can prevail in this contest is if the Ring is destroyed, an event that is becoming harder every minute for Frodo to achieve. The fate of every living creature in Middle Earth will be decided once and for all as the Quest of the Ringbearer reaches its climax. 

If you are smart, then you skipped everything up to this sentence. If you are not smart, you just read multiple plot summaries of LOTR: TFOTR, LOTR: TTT, LOTR: TROTK

Gay Lovers

Grant and Bryan are sleeping on the floor of my basement as I type this. Bryan... just basically rolled over on to Grant. They are finally out of the closet!!! It's about time!

I am going to attempt to play Reach right now and not wake them up. Wish me luck!

Ok, so... I have been REALLY pissed off lately. At pretty much everything. And I think I finally figured out why. I am going through a minor detox.

Updating later tonight

A Creature of Habit

Every Montag, Mittwoch, and Freitag I sit in the lobby of Rood Hall after my astronomy class, waiting for Science of Music to begin. I am currently sitting there now. Every time I am here, around 11:15 an old Japanese woman, and a very old man, walk through the lobby. They are always talking as they walk, but they are speaking Japanese. It's really interesting to listen to people speak any kind of Asian language. Nobody tell me that that last sentence is politically incorrect because I find Indian and Arabic also quite interesting to listen to.
For those of you who don't understand why I said that, go look at a map of Asia.


Update:
The world, and most of who inhabit it... can go fuck themselves

Wither

I know words, or feelings, or thoughts belong here. But I, for once, can't think of one thing that I want to say.

Aliens

If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor. 

If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely. 

If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot. 

If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed. 

If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again. 

If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.

If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot. 


If you cross the Mexican borders illegally you will jailed for two years. 

  
If you cross the United States border illegally you get: 
1 - A job
2 - A driver's license
3 - A Social Security card
4 - Welfare
5 - Food stamps
6 - Credit cards
7 - Subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house
8 - Free education
9 - Free health care
10 - A lobbyist in Washington
11 - Billions of dollars in public documents printed in your language.
12 - Millions of servicemen and women who are willing to--and do--die for your right to the ways and means of our constitution.
13 - And the right to carry the flag of your country--the one you walked out on--while you call America racist and protest that you  don't get enough respect.

This Room Is Monitored For Security Purposes Only

 Its 9:30am right now, not the time for me to be posting a daily blog, as most of the day hasn't happened yet. Or has it? But back to why I am writing so early. I am sitting on the floor, against the wall, in Rood Hall doing my homework and I look to my right because I heard "... Just like in Star Wars" coming from a lecture hall. But a sign on the wall caught my eye. It says "This Room Is Monitored For Security Purposes Only", and I was thinking about why they had to have that sign up, then it occurred to me... rule #34.


 I want to vote for the Governor this year, so I am probably going to head to the Secretary of State at some point today for an absentee ballot. Hopefully I can con Grant in to joining me. Although, if he has any intentions of voting for Snyder... he is definitely not coming with me. That being said, I hope he doesn't read this before I ask him to come with me.


 So in my astronomy class this morning, a really cute girl sat next to me. Now to fully understand the significance of that, you must understand that there are around 77 people in the class, and somewhere around 150 seats in the lecture hall. So she wasn't forced by any means to sit next to me. Also, to make it even better... she said "hi!"! We talked a bit during the hour, so that was really cool! Definitely the highlight of my morning!


 Grant and I are going to try to get Alana to learn Korean. She speaks Korean, Grant speaks Arabic(and spanish, but that takes away from the point I'm trying to make), and I speak German. Alana(Kim Jong-il), Grant(Sadam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad), and I(Adolf Hitler) will take over the world! Of course in our quest for global domination, there will be no fear of nuclear war, no threat of terrorism, and the Jews will live on peacefully(go fuck yourself Cartman!). We might have to do something about that stupid country between Canada and Mexico, but that will probably be the only major (hopefully non-violent), confrontation during our rule as supreme leaders of awesome. My first act as supreme ruler, I will make "Take the Time" by Dream Theater, Earths national anthem. The national anthem will be subject to change at any given time, for any reason that I see fit.


 Grant, are you happier now with my paragraph breaks?

Things Professor Burns Says in Class:
1- "Who has gone swimming in a pool and swam to the bottom? *Entire classes raises their hands* Everybody... you guys are doers!"
2- "This is a tuning fork, and if I hit my hand with it... it hurts"
3- "*Climbs on to the front counter, and walks over a hollow part of it. Jumps up and down a couple times* I'm not sure how sturdy that is...."

Now you have to factor...

 First day of Precalculus was today. I just got back to my dorm form that class. It was... interesting to say the least. After navigating the maze that is Knauss Hall, I did end up making it to the room on time. Well... technically on time for the class, but next time I am going to go a bit earlier so I can get a seat near the front of the lecture hall. Today was all lecture and notes, it was quite boring. I'm not even sure what the homework is for today, if there is any, and/or when it is due.... So I am just going to have to keep my fingers crossed that I can figure out what to do.
 I learned this morning that the little plasma ball I have on my desk, should be kept away from my laptop, and that it should not be left on for more than a couple minutes at a time. That's good to know now! I've had it on non stop for 2 days basically! Apparently if you leave it on for more than a couple minutes it starts to create o-zone(trioxygen). Also if it is close to my laptop, which it is, it could damage the touch pad. So I think the next time I go home, it is coming with me.

 Alana came down today! It was cool to see her.
 I think I need to bring some Rockband stuff down sunday night, when I come back from home. I need to be able to play whenever I want, and play with a guitar that works 100% of the time. It's always nice to have working equipment.
 So I have Recitation tomorrow morning at 8am. I'm not entirely sure what that is. All I know is that it is part of my Precalculus class. I'm hoping that I don't have any homework that is due tomorrow morning, the communication in this class is quite limited. Some might say it doesn't even exist. I am a little nervous about that tomorrow, but other than that I have a pretty easy day! Morning classes, and I'm done at 1:00. I will probably spend most of the afternoon getting math homework done, then study German.
 I am really enjoying German so far. We seem to be going a little fast, but that will get me to study consistently. I think I'm going to spend  a bit more time on the homework though. Instead of just doing it to get it done, I'm going to do it to get better at speaking and understanding the language. Today die professorin handed out audio CD's that we can study with. They go along with das arbeitsbuch(the workbook), so I will most likely be listening and repeating for at least an hour tomorrow. Grant will laugh at me, just as I laughed at him doing his Arabic homework.

 Ich werde schreiben morgen!

When the Wild Wind Blows

 I love puns. I walked out of Rood Hall this afternoon, and I saw on the ground, written in chalk "Yo Geoscience Rocks!". Rood is the building where all of the science classes take place. So I saw that and laughed to myself. 

 Today was a pretty good day, I woke up and went to my two physics classes. And in between them I went to the Bernhard Center and got my Precalculus book. $145 for a book! That is ridiculous! I only paid around $80 for my Calculus I book, so I figured the Precalculus one would be around the same, but it was almost double! Well, I'm glad I don't have to pay for it all yet. My parents are paying for everything until I get out of school and get a job. Even after that I only have to pay for half of what it costs for me to come here, so I'm pretty happy about that.

 I did a lot of homework today. My German homework was pretty fun, I'm really enjoying that class. Then my precalculus homework was just a drag. I probably spent around an hour and a half on it so far and I'm not even done. Most of it is review, so it isn't anything that I had to learn, but it's still not enjoyable doing it.

 I'm hoping this week goes smoothly. I am very nervous about going to my Precalculus class because I missed a week of it already. Thats the one class that I'm worried about this week actually, my other 3 classes are going magnificently.

 I actually don't have a ton to say today, I kind of wrote just for the sake of writing.

 I hope you all have a wonderful day!

A Shadow In Darkness

 Today was... an interesting day to say the least. I went to church this morning, and we had a really cool speaker. He spoke about the differences between men and women. And, as surprised as I am to say this, I understand women slightly more now than I did before. I guess some things make sense now. I actually learned a lot about myself from him too. It's quite amazing how much a complete stranger can teach you about yourself. I'm quite glad I went this morning, even though I was basically forced to. My sister danced in the service so my mom made me get up and go with them.
 When I got home, I looked around the house for some food and I came to a very shocking realization: I actually really like the food at school. Nothing in the closet or fridge looked good to me, not even mac and cheese or pizza! Now that is really saying something.
 So I planned on leaving around 1:00 but I had to go get gas, and refill my transmission fluid, and my mom had to put money in my book account so I can buy my Precalculus book. After all that, it was 3:00 before I left to come back to school. When I got here, I planned on getting some food, but the dinning hall was closed and I didn't feel like walking to another hall to get some dinner. So I ate some of the ramen noodles I have in my room, for just such an occasion.
 There is strange peace to this place when you are alone. I always feel kind of separated from the rest of the world, and it has bothered me a lot lately. But when I was sitting in my dorm alone, just listening to everything happen outside, it was very peaceful. I could hear the birds, the rustling of the leaves in the wind, distant cars passing by. I just felt at peace with myself, and where I was in the world. At home I always feel tension in the air. There is always something there that is eating away at me, whether it is my parents being too critical or saying things that piss me off or people acting in ways that make me question their motives. There is always something. But here, just sitting here, all tensions lifted and I was able to smile for no reason at all. I might actually stay down here one or two weekends out of the month. This means, or course, having to learn how to do laundry, but that is no big deal. I could see myself laying on a grassy hill, or patch of grass for a couple hours here. Just listening to people pass by, the sounds of nature, everything. It will give me much needed time away from everything. All of the drama I'm constantly surrounded by, or right smack dab in the middle of for that matter, all of the problems of every day life. Getting lost in your own mind is a nice way to let your problems slip right out from under you, and the best part is: you don't even know that it's happening.
 The VMA's happened tonight, I started watching that at 9. The show was kind of disappointing this year compared to last year. The acts weren't as good, and the award winners didn't really deserve to win. Eminem was amazing this year, and in tandem so was Rihanna. Taylor Swift also did a fabulous job. But other than that, the performances were... similar. I didn't feel like I was seeing anything new. I did, however, absolutely despise kanye west's performance, if you could call it that. I don't even respect the man enough to consider his name to be a proper noun in that last sentence.
 I then put in Star Trek The Next Generation, and watched the second episode of that tonight. I am trying to pace myself with this season. I usually watched as many episodes as I could in a day back when I was watching seasons 1 and 2. I kind of want to draw out this season, and make it last a bit longer than usual. That way I don't go back to season 1 and watch all 3 seasons again and again and look like a complete nerd. Some could say that I already am one since I am watching Star Trek in the first place. But those people can go fuck off, and reminisce in their many insecurities.
 So today was an overall interesting day.

Realization

 This morning when I logged on, I realized that every entry here is automatically dated... so my first entry's title was kind of redundant.

 I woke up on Bryan's futon this morning, and I was kinda pissed off... it was in couch mode! Futons are so much better to sleep on in bed mode! But someone put a blanket on me while I was sleeping, which I wasn't sure how to react to. Either someone was being creepy, or cared if I was cold. So I'm going to assume someone was trying to be creepy.

 After waking up, I listened to a bit of Jordan Rudess and John Petrucci while I packed up my stuff. Then I headed home. I took a shower and got all cleaned up, got some lunch, then sat in front of the TV for most of the day. It is 4:40 right now, so I will be updating again later tonight.


 Update:
 After shopping for a desk chair for my dorm, I got home and had some dinner. A couple hours after that, I had my little birthday party with my family. I got: Halo Reach, Star Trek The Next Generation Season 3, Iron Maiden: The Final Frontier, some money(cash/gift cards), and Alana gave me her pillow. So altogether I had a pretty good birthday this year. There is just one thing that I would change, but I would have to change a person for that to happen, and she doesn't care enough about me to change anyway. So I guess it doesn't matter, I'll just have to get over it.
 After eating some cheese cake, I listened to my new Iron Maiden album, it is a pretty awesome album! Maiden's still got it! Probably just gonna hang around home for the rest of the night. I kind of can't wait to get back to Western sunday night. When I'm there, there aren't as many possibilities for me to be let down. I guess I just get my hopes up too high with some things. I've got to stop doing that to myself.

Sept 10, 2010

 Well, yesterday was my birthday. Kinda blows my mind still that I'm already 19.
 This morning, I was finally able to complete my college schedule. I was registered for Calculus I, but after two days in the class I realized that I should really take Precalculus. So after a couple days of strenuous thought, and emailing of advisors, I was able to drop my Calculus I class and pick up a Precalculus class.
 Today was Intro to the Sky and Solar System at 10am, then Science of Music at noon.
 In Intro to the Sky and Solar System we discussed how freakin' crazy huge the universe is and how freakin' crazy minuscule we really are. We also discussed the multitude of reasons why Pluto is no longer a planet. I quite enjoyed that discussion.
 My Science of Music professor is the funniest professor I have met so far this year! He's always making witty comments and such, he always makes my day a little bit brighter, no matter the situation!

On a side note, Wednesday, September 8, is a day that will forever live in infamy.... This date marks the tragic separation of Mike Portnoy from the most amazing progressive metal band in my life, Dream Theater.